just like a real city

Sometimes SLC and Utah surprise me and act like real places. Last night was the 18th annual Antelope by Moonlight bike ride. This fundraising ride raises money for Antelope Island and the state park (nearly half a million dollars over the 18 years) for improvements and education.

The course is an out-and-back from the marina to the Fielding Garr Ranch…22 miles total. I guess the course would be considered rolling hills, although parts of it to me were worse, and I was muttering cuss words as I pedaled my ass up what I considered to be mountains. It was a last minute decision to do the ride, and I had already done 17 miles riding up to meet Col at work earlier. So…I was tired. And, as a result I was a bit of a whiny bitch on the ride out to the ranch.

But, even as tired as I was and as whiny as I was being, I really did enjoy the ride. I’m not sure how many people were there, but it felt like at least a couple thousand. Kids, old people fat people. Yes…really fat people. And one of them kicked my ass on a hill, which really just pissed me off and worsened my mood. But, oh well, I totally beat him over the long haul. That’s right, Bluto (he really did look like Bluto, so I’m not just being an asshole). I may not be fast, but I can endure and finish. And yes, there’s some innuendo there.

There was a costume contest, which only included about 10 people. But, the couple who won did have a pretty damn awesome setup. They had giant Dementors on their backs. Pretty badass to ride 22 miles with that setup. There was also a bike decorating contest, but other than a dude pulling a huge arch of glow-in-the-dark balloons, they were all basically the same…$20 worth of dollar store glow sticks slapped all over the frames and spokes.

The atmosphere was fun, even though it was a Friday so there were a few Momos to act as downers. At one point I was stuck in a clog of riders where two women were talking about how inspired their bishop is and how it gives them such a testimony. Hey, can I borrow some of your Prozac?

But, just when you start to think you’re living someplace normal, UT rears its ugly head. We left the island about 12:45 AM to head home. Given the hour and having just finished a 22 mile ride, we naturally wanted some pancakes. IHOP was closed. Seriously…closed. What IHOP ever closes?  Where the hell are the drunks who are just leaving the bars, tweaking crackheads, annoying high school kids who snuck out or a couple of guys on their way home from participating in a glow stick ride supposed to get some pancakes?

The Village Inn was open. But come on…even I have standards.



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